Thelma Mae Hitch Speers

Thelma Mae Hitch Speers Obituary

11-24-1929 to 09-15-2024

Suggested charity in lieu of flowers – Wounded Warrior Project

Thelma M. Speers (nee Hitch) passed away in the early hours of Sunday, September 15, 2024 in her room at her nursing home of almost 1 ½ years. In slowly declining health at almost 95 years old, she succumbed to several health issues in her sleep. She went as she wished!

Thelma was the firstborn to Christina Jones Hitch and Harold Hitch, Sr. in Kansas City, Kansas. Often describing herself as “just a country girl”, she always felt that Kansas City, Kansas was the small town sister to the much more cosmopolitan Kansas City, Missouri. Over the next several years, Thelma was joined by younger brother Harold Jr, dearest sister and best friend Patricia, and baby brother Gordon.

Thelma attended historic Wyandotte High School in KCKS, but dropped out early around the time of the conclusion of World War II, both to get out on her own and to take advantage of earning her own money. While still in school, she’d excelled in math. So, that led to excellent secretarial skills, with attention to detail, when she entered the work world.

Thelma held secretarial positions in a few different companies including Sears Roebuck, then landed a job at Western Casualty and Surety in downtown Kansas City, Missouri. This led her to meet her eventual husband, Earl K. Speers, who was a rising Underwriter there. He was 8 years her senior. She was the most gorgeous woman he’d ever seen, and he looked much like her movie idol, Van Johnson. Sparks flew! 

At the tender age of 17, they wed, and settled into life on the Missouri side of Kansas City. She continued to work for awhile until they chose to start a family. She lost her firstborn son just a few hours after his birth around 1950. It was a combination of labor complications that, in today’s world, would have been easy to overcome. The doctors said she needed to heal before trying again, which they did about 18 months later.

Daughter Kathleen was born in 1952, then son Mark two years later, and youngest son Clay 4 ½ years after Mark. Thelma took on the role of stay-at-home mother for their formative years while Earl continued at his company. She volunteered in Brownies, Cub Scouts and different sports leagues for her children. Despite being painfully shy, Thelma got along well with the young moms in their neighborhood and even took on the role of President for their local parish’s Altar Society for a few years in the early ‘60’s.

Throughout this time, Thelma dealt with her husband’s alcohol addiction. He was considered a “functioning alcoholic” where he still went to work every day, but was the opposite of sober from 5pm-8pm when he went to bed. It overwhelmed her energy. In those days, there was no AlAnon for spouses. She had no prospects to leave and survive with three children. So, with her children’s interests in mind, she stayed. 

One by one, the children left the nest and Thelma finally got a spark of confidence when she got her GED diploma. In the mid-70’s, her daughter was working as a secretary at a government unit that helped adults get their GED’s and job training. She invited Thelma to take the GED at a large testing center. When the results came back, an administrator of the tests called Thelma’s daughter and said, “Your mom got the top score in the city!” This created a shift for Thelma!

In the early 80’s, Earl started going to AA (after Thelma bravely found an AlAnon group for herself) and got his addiction more in control. With all three children now adults, Thelma and Earl traveled for the first time together as a couple, and enjoyed inexpensive meals out. They had over six months of a relationship before his first stroke. After that, Earl needed at least some level of companionship and help, which Thelma provided. Still, she’d found an inner strength that insisted that she have HER time. She worked part-time and enjoyed tap classes and other outings while employing a part-time helper for Earl to give herself that space.

By the time he passed away in 1989 (Thelma was 59), she had their small home to enjoy, their adult children and grandchildren, and her own small circle of friends and activities. She loved this freedom, but eventually determined that the upkeep of their home was more than she wanted. She moved to Lee’s Summit to be close to her youngest son and his young children.

Thelma flew alone to California to visit her daughter and daughter’s family almost annually for many years in the 1990’s and up through the early 2010’s. She also drove to Nebraska to visit her brother Harold and his wife for several years. She spent years taking short trips to be with her sister in southern Missouri, and the two of them traveled together often. When Thelma’s sister Pat died in 2002, a bit of Thelma’s light dimmed. They’d been best friends for such a long time, even through the many years when Pat lived in Oregon. 

But, good times still prevailed. Thelma saw her youngest son marry a childhood sweetheart, his children grow up and the arrival of great grandchildren. Thelma’s older son went through almost three decades of needing to be alone. But, when he re-emerged, she welcomed him back. Though they never saw each other in person (he lived in Oregon and it was getting harder for her to travel), they spoke every Sunday for years. And, she reconnected with his surviving sons. Thelma also loved her daughter’s life in California, staying in touch with her and her granddaughter there and grandsons who were still in Lee’s Summit.

When Thelma’s health declined sharply in the spring of 2023, she had already let her youngest son take over financial and health decisions. She’d been in decline since the COVID era. It was obvious that she needed another layer of care that couldn’t be done while she was in her apartment. And, she was okay with this. She lived her last year and a half in a lovely nursing home in Independence, Missouri. She had new girlfriends to dine with, in the home’s dining room. She had a roommate in her little room that she got along with. She didn’t complain, she allowed change. She smiled over little things, like birds chirping outside her window. She forgot a lot. But, she remembered a lot more. She remained a beacon of dignity and love. A “country girl” who never knew how many people noticed!

Thelma Mae Hitch Speers was preceded in death by her first-born son, her parents Christina and Harold Hitch Sr, her husband Earl K (Bud) Speers, her two brothers Gordon and Harold Hitch Jr, her sister/best friend Pat Hitch Brownfield, her son Mark Speers and her grandson Titus Speers. Thelma is survived by her daughter Kathleen Speers Rockney (husband Bill) in California, son Clay Speers (wife Marta) in Lee’s Summit, grandchildren Sean, Justin, Ashley, Tommy, Timmy, Victor, Nicholas and Chris, and several more great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren.

No funeral services were requested by her. We invite you to remember her in the best way that works for you.